Jesus is teaching us to have a heart posture of trust, love and generosity. Therefore, they see you as a threat. God forgave our transgressions. Being a good Christian doesn’t mean keeping toxic people around. An important part of overcoming grief is expressing it to God. On a similar note, if someone hurts you, instead of God getting them back for you, God may use that hurt to … Luke 6:27-3 6 speaks to this issue with great detail. However, God calls us to exhibit a very specific kind of response in such circumstances. “When we refuse to freely give, we demonstrate our allegiance to the world’s narratives of scarcity and fear.” The Good and Beautiful Life, When Jesus calls us to pray for and bless even our enemies, he isn’t at all saying that we should be unwise and allow ourselves to be abused or mistreated. 4. Some people may try to tough it out and will pretend the words or actions of others don’t effect them, but the truth of the matter is… sometimes they do. He comes out of the wood works every few months & mesages me with the same faux concern that bleeds into attempts at psychological manipulation each and every time. God is the God of the past, present and future and no one can steal anything when you are hidden in the shadow of His wings. *We respect your privacy and take protecting it very seriously.*. A. Carson in “How Long, O Lord?” “By itself suffering does no good. But rather than having an attitude of retaliation, have a gratitude for how Jesus will take care of you. “God is in the midst of her, she will not be moved.” Psalm 46:5. He works all things together for the good of those He has called (Romans 8:28). Love doesn’t seek revenge or retaliation, even in our thought life. It takes effort on our part to diligently search the scriptures and pray for God’s guidance. He is the only Judge. But when we see it as the thing between God and us, it has meaning. God is with us even in our darkest hour. This will happen when the Lord Jesus is revealed from heaven in blazing fire with his powerful angels. These are all common thoughts surrounding the teaching of praying for and blessing our enemies. As Ghandi says, “an eye for an eye leaves the whole world blind.” That doesn’t seem very smart. I was saved when I was twelve, and I've always been "the nice girl". It is up to only God to punish others, to forgive them and give them another chance. You first have to step away from your problem and see things for the way they really are.Bottom line – the time that we will all spend on this earth is just a blink of an eye compared to the time that we will all be spending in eternity once we die and cross over. “Give to everyone who asks you, and if anyone takes what belongs to you, do not demand it back.” Luke 6:30. Those people definitely need prayer. In some areas of the Christian life we struggle to find out how God wants us to respond. God's Holy Spirit, living within us, enables us to live and empowers us to live, think, act and not act, in a way and manner altogether differently from the normal. We have a direct PROMISE from God that He WILL AVENGE US of those who have hurt and wronged us. Love is higher than all problems. In it, the pastor included a copy of an article that had appeared in the Los Angeles Times . You don’t get solutions at the same level of the problem. Pray for those who hurt you.” –Luke 6:28 “We are human, but we don’t wage war as humans do.” –2 Corinthians 10:3 . He is our refuge (Psalm 91:1-2). Wedged in the crux—the cross—suffering becomes a transaction. No matter how hard or strong we claim to be, the actions of others can sometimes hurt us to our core.Some people may try to tough it out and will pretend the words or actions of others don’t effect them, but the truth of the matter is… sometimes they do! <3 We must forgive as we have been forgiven. Believe it or not, there are ways to deal with people who have hurt you. God designed this world in a cause and effect way where all physical earthly sins have strictly physical earthly consequences and Sins against God separate us from Him (unless redeemed). To let people bully us? No one can take from you what you freely give. We overcome the heartache it causes by giving our pain to God. With His help, you can forgive the unforgivable. The wounds of Christ then become Christ's credentials. So trust God by doing the right thing and you will not be in trouble. I’m not saying you have to be besties, but forgiveness is key. To me, that gives so much understanding to Jesus perspective when he was dying on the cross and still said, “Forgive them Father, for they know not what they are doing.” Luke 23:34. At the same time, if approached in a God-honoring way, conflict can bring stimulation, healing, resolution to … God does not want us to be a Target for others to use and abuse. I guess my question and what I have been struggling with is how to interact with the person after the offense. God does not love us on our preferred terms, but on His own. The things your enemies do to you usually have nothing to do with you, and everything to do with them. There’s no task to difficult nor mountain too high for those who are compelled to live their lives in the purpose and plan of God. Ultimately, Jesus is trying to teach us how to have a Kingdom posture of the heart. 3 Ways to Bless Those Who Have Hurt Us 1. God does not just forgive everyone automatically with no preconditions—if He did, there would be no lake of fire in Revelation 20:14–15. Doesn’t blessing someone who hurts us condone their behavior? And so you will be counted worthy of the kingdom of God, for which you are suffering. Thanks for sharing today! I pray that God will help all of us!! Use the Right Weapons: While it is perfectly normal to get mad at those who hurt you, Jesus calls us all to a better way. Today, just try it. Let’s see how Bhagavad Gita defines Karma > Arjuna, fair or unfair, the results of an action depends on five things: the body, the mind, the instruments, the method and divine grace. Any of those easily becomes a spiritual and emotional poison, eating away at our souls and turning us into unloving (and unlovable) people. This is why the Bible commands us to “Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger” (Ephesians 4:31). On the other hand, pretending she doesn’t exist and dreading seeing her at gatherings also doesn’t seem right. I’ve forgiven her, and want the best for her, but I equally want nothing to do with her :S. Kristen is a former Miss USA, the founder of She is More, author, TV host & inspirational speaker and personal success coach. So be at peace with your generosity, knowing that you are the daughter of the abundant Creator the Universe. I find myself wondering if I'd really want them to be avenged. God is not there to get you out of your hurt, but to make sure you make it thru your hurt. Some may say the answer is simple: You don’t deal with them at all! When you trust in God by doing the Kingdom thing rather than the easy thing, you are operating within the Kingdom and He can easily abide in you,  empowering you to be strong. Therefore, we must be ready share our comfort in the midst of suffering because God’s glory is at stake and because the sufferers are many. One of the best things we can do for those who hurt us is pray for them. When someone tries to take from us, it can happen in many forms. Love asks the question, “How may I help you?” Love covers all wrongs. In the process of working through my heart issues, I prayed hard and asked God to give me the opportunity to ask for forgiveness to those who I’ve hurt. Thanks for some insight!! (Romans 12:19 NIV) Just in case there is any confusion-God does not need you to tell Him when or how to get revenge. My situation is one that happened at work with a boss and I’m asking God to help me overcome it, because I want all that God has for me!! They are also conclusions based in fear. It hardly makes sense in our ego minds. God’s Kingdom is not in trouble, that means you are not in trouble. When people hurt you, sometimes it’s easier to just walk away and don’t look back. We are doing what Jesus did. God works all things for the good of those who love him. I’ve been hurt by someone i was in love with. This is how to best handle the sensitive issue of witnessing to someone who is hurting. This is great! What does Jesus even mean by that? Pick the person or people in your life who are mistreating you and pray for them, pray for God to bless them…and just see what happens in your heart when you do. No matter how hard or strong we claim to be,  the actions of others can sometimes hurt us to our core. "Vengeance is Mine, says the Lord". This releases the effect that enemy has on our minds and releases God’s judgement regarding the situation. God does not have to remove your hurt to show you strong he is. I just don’t know if I can do it, I don’t even understand how this is just. Really great helpful & Biblical principals here. But, forgiveness does not mean resolution. Jesus lived a life that practiced a perfect example of Godly boundaries. We think to “love” means to “do no harm,” when it really means “to be willing to do short-term harm for a redemptive purpose.” A physician who re-breaks an arm in order for it to heal properly harms his patient in order to heal him. You can’t control what they do, but you can control how you respond to them. I mean, yeah, they hurt me, but I don't know what good would come of them getting what they "deserve". 6 After all, it is only right for God to repay with affliction those who afflict you, 7 and to grant relief to you who are oppressed and to us as well. Or when someone tries to ruin my name by defaming my character with baseless accusations? God’s Word tells us “where envy and self-seeking exist, confusion and every evil thing are there” (James 3:16). And what does he expect of us, since we pray, “forgive us our sins as we forgive those who sin against us?” Does God really expect us to forgive and to forget the sins of others? Please note that God's command to honor even abusive parents does not in any way mean that an abused child should not report the abuse to the appropriate authorities. A fear of scarcity and not enough. You can pray and bless someone from afar, you don’t need to stay in toxic situations and simply take abuse which is often the confusion associated with this verse: “If someone slaps you on one cheek, turn to them the other also.” Luke 6:29. Jesus isn’t literally making a new law that says you have to accept abuse, especially when it is an ongoing, chronic situation. I have forgiven her as best I can, but to interact with her feels like I’m saying what she did was ok or even possibly true. It is God Who works in us (Philippians 2:13), and if we follow Him He will complete the necessary work to enable us to honor our abusive parent (Philippians 1:6). This is a great article! And you can be thankful that you get to be the one to intercede on their behalf. It’s so hard to be able to forgive those people that have done us wrong, and our ego OFTEN gets in the way. I know exactly how you feel Pinky!! You do not display fear by clutching on tightly to what the physical world gives or lowering yourself to their frequency with revenge. When someone tries to take from us, it can happen in many forms. (2 Thessalonians 1:6-7) When the Scripture was read, you may have thought, […] When I am hurt by someone I don’t allow myself to … Sometimes we don’t want to work things out and be like Jesus and forgive. “And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:19. It thinks, “I can’t pray for enemy’s success because then there won’t be enough left for me” or “I can’t bless the person who is out to hurt me, she will think that I am a pushover and continue to think she can walk all over me.”  Both of which are understandable conclusions. 5. For some this is not just an academic question. Does he want us to be a pushover? So how do you deal with those who have offended, mistreated, or hurt you? God loves us and does not want others to harm us. Jesus came to obliterate the oppressiveness of the law of justice, and replace it with a new law. “Love your enemies and be patient with those who persecute you, so that you may be children of your Father in Heaven; for he makes the sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the righteous and on the unrighteous….Be perfect (spiritually mature) as your heavenly Father is perfect.” Matthew 5:43-48. “Bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you.” Luke 6:28  This is a hard teaching to swallow. Tough one. Posted Jul 02, 2012 And he is coaxing me not to be. The only thing I can do is intercede on his behalf, asking God to move in his heart. Dear God, Your righteous anger toward evil overshadows the pain in my heart and allows me to forgive as You are righteously angry for me. Love it! In order to forgive those who sin against us, we must first of all understand God’s forgiveness. He always lectures me about how God wouldn't want me to be mistreated and stuff. Christ's Coming 5 All this is clear evidence of God’s righteous judgment. Never miss a post again!, sign up for email alerts today. And it made sense for a while. The law of love. Dear just pray about ask the holy spirit to heal ur heart, Lord Jesus help us… Sometimes it’s not easy but we need your guidance. How can you forgive someone who has hurt you? We call the betrayal for what it is, reconsider our personal boundaries, and recognize that only God is truly trustworthy. “So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I am not only supposed to pray for them, but bless them as well? People who are hurting you legitimately are blinded by their own self and feel justified in their actions. Take your eyes off of the hurt and the person, put your gaze on Christ. Those who do are in deep pain themselves. You have a PROMISE from God Almighty that He will PUNISH (repay) the evildoer. Many times we are not in a place to force the other person to stop their hurtful behavior. Abuse is NEVER apart of God's plan for us. God wants us to protect ourselves from harmful Toxic People. I had a close friend try to ruin my name, spread rumors about me and attack my relationship. One way he works for us is to comfort us in suffering, so that we will be able to comfort others. I used to think that being there for him and showing him how much Christ has drastically changed my life would at the very least make him want to seek The Lord out – but then I realized that our interactions were toxic & he had no desire to change. I love the article its an encouragement forgiveness is key thing it goes hand in hand with prayers especially when the pain is deep its only God who can give you the grace to forgive those who have really hurt you, It’s amazing how free u feel when u do all this, I have been hurt also but gave the hurt Jesus an he handle it an I walked on, Amen, forgiveness is the key to setting yourself free. But sometimes it’s just not that simple. Most people don’t intentionally hurt others. Conflict can cause anger, hurt, confusion, fear, and damaged relationships with those on our women’s leadership team and other women in the women’s ministry. Here is why this teaching is empowering: “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” Proverbs 15:1. It is within your power through the Holy Spirit to forgive those who hurt you. If someone is asking or demanding something from you or even plotting our demise, a heart posture of love would ask them, “how may I help you?” Even ask it in your own mind at first, then you will begin to see that person through a clear lens of compassion, which could even reveal to you the reasons that anger, hate and bitterness fills their heart. I’ve been trying to balance ‘being there’ for an ex with whom I was in a very dysfunctional and emotionally abusive relationship with 4 years ago. Isaiah 41:10. Prayer and Devotional Blogs For Christian Women. The Best Ways to Deal with People Who Hurt You Confronting someone who has hurt you can be a difficult and daunting task. Your right . Have a blessed day in the Lord!! When we pray for and bless our enemies, we are vibrating at God’s frequency because we are in alignment with His nature. We are to follow his example and forgive others that have transgressed against us. Forgiveness is that important to God that He is willing to hold back His hand if we choose to not forgive those who have wronged us. Here are 5 Things To Do When People Hurt You…. The Psalms contain numerous examples of pouring out one’s heart to God. Turn immediately to the serious issue at hand - … However now I don’t know how to interact in our group of Gfs and bfs. In Devotions, Inspiration by Kristen Dalton WolfeOctober 28, 20144 Comments. Especially when it’s a parent, spouse, or someone you just can’t cut out of your life so easily. Sometimes we don’t want to work things out and be like Jesus and forgive. To surrenderyour hurt and anger to the Lord means to fully acknowledge your feelings, admit your inability to handle them, revoke your right to revenge, and trust Him to be your defender. Accept the truth that God doesn’t have favorites “For God does not show favoritism” (Romans 2:11). “Bless those who curse you. So if they want your contacts, give them your contacts generously, knowing they can’t steal anything that God will not redeem. Subscribe to receive a daily email of new posts right in your inbox. Yes, but indirectly. Betrayal is a robbing of security through a breaking of trust. He can show you how strong he is even while you are going thru your hurt. Years ago, I received a letter from a friend who is a pastor at a church in California. God is love and love is bigger than all of our circumstances or enemies. This means that you have a God-given RIGHT to EXPECT to be avenged of your enemies (those who have hurt you). From demanding money to stealing an idea, to stealing your dignity, or wrecking opportunity through vengeful tactics. Again, make sure that you show genuine sensitivity, then do what a surgeon would do with a severed jugular vein. And He will take care of us. He believes that if people hurt you once, you cab write them out of your life and be rude to him. The Bible often reminds us that we have a Father in heaven to Whom we can turn when we get hurt—or in fact at any time. He is teaching us a better, higher, more intelligent way to deal with conflict. Don’t we need to stand up for ourselves? What about someone who intentionally competes with me, someone who steals my idea and passes it off as their own? God enters in, stays with us, and make a way in our hurt. Disarm the person trying to steal from you by having a heart posture of fearlessness. When you trust that He is true to His promises to you as a Daughter of the King, you are elevated to such an anchored state of your royal identity, that no attempts to attack you will cause you to waver. So how does God want me to respond to those who hurt me? Psalm 46:10 reminds us to “be still” and rest in the knowledge that He is God. He died to atone for our sins. The first thing each Christian must “realize and see” is what I call the big picture. Until I remembered who I am. I use the word surrender because it best describes our act of handing over to God something that truly belongs to Him—the right to hurt back. He also wasn’t a pushover, Jesus was always honest and direct with his accusers, but he always communicated in a way that diminished an argument rather than escalated it. Ones that I think we could all benefit from hearing and practicing. When you have a heart posture of trust, that means you trust that God will protect you. It won’t be easy, but it will be worth it. We tell Him our pain and allow Him to handle those who would hurt us. I am to focused on the ones that love me to even care. So trust God by doing the right thing and you will not be in trouble. That is not the case here. Some people may try to tough it out and will pretend the words or actions of others don’t effect them, but the truth of the matter is… sometimes they do! The ego part of our mind wants to protect us, to defend us, to hold on what is ours. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” Isaiah 41:10. They are projecting their own dominant thoughts, insecurities, woundings and beliefs on to you because you represent something they are not. Tell him that you are sorry about his loss. No matter how hard or strong we claim to be,  the actions of others can sometimes hurt us to our core. God’s Kingdom is not in trouble, that means you are not in trouble. Psalm 115:3 says, “Our God is in the heavens; he does all that he pleases.” The person who does not tremble at this has simply not faced up to the power of God, greater than a billion hydrogen bombs, or the holiness of God, a purity burning like a million galaxies, or the mystery of God acting in ways that none but he can fathom. I chose not to get our group of friends involved and not talk to her about it. The world mocks, but we are assured of God's love by Christ's wounds.” —D. 10 Verses To Handle Awkward Encounters With Your Enemies. 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